Check out Amazon’s useful description of the excellent boardgame Imperial:
Wow, thank you ever so much for that truly edifying list of features! Were it not for your guidance, I might not have realized that Imperial is not a sander and should not be used to polish that kitchen table I’m building. I might not have known that it is not edible, even with zest of lemon and a nice Chardonnay. I might not have known that it does not have 32 gigabytes of solid-state memory or 802.11 wireless connectivity, and thus would make a poor substitute for Trooper.
But thanks to you, I know one important thing about Imperial: “It is a board game.” As such, I know that I instead should present it to other people and invite them to join me in playing. Thanks, Amazon!
Even better is the description of the sequel, Imperial 2030:
Gotta love the product features, but also note the manufacturer’s suggestion, nay their recommendation, that it is playable by anyone aged 0 months and up. To prove this, when I have kids, the very first thing I will do (yes, even before I tweet about it) will be to break out Imperial 2030, which of course my newborn will instinctively know how to play. Oh stop crying! I know you’re upset I took China from you, but there’s no reason to be a baby about it!